Knowing if you 're a lesbian or not is a personal matter, and sexuality/feelings can change over time, just like Alfred Kinsey, the creator of the. If you 're asking yourself, "Am I a lesbian?" we've got some insider tips that'll help you determine if you are straight, lesbian or bisexual. It is quite common for lesbians to first have relationships with men. Bisexuals are sexually and emotionally attracted to both men and women. If.